Why I chose to read this book…
As a military veteran and spouse I understand the unique challenges that face service members and their families. The greatest challenge to our marriage has been the extended periods of separation we’ve endured. Jay and I were married on Leap Year Day in 2004. 11 years, 2 kids, 3 moves, 8 deployments, and countless TDY’s later our marriage remains strong. How do we do it? I believe God is the #1 reason. Followed closely by our love for one another and our commitment to our marriage covenant – divorce is simply not an option. It appears that on the whole, Jay and I have good communication (aka we’ve been speaking each other’s love language). Unfortunately, during my time in service I’ve seen the demise of many military marriages. The demands of military life, separation from family, and poor communication often lead to marital discord. Some couples choose to endure, sometimes for the sake of their children, only to becoming bitter and even lonely. Others divorce in with the expectation of finding happiness and better compatibility with a new spouse. In The 5 Love Languages Military Edition Dr. Chapman states, “Whatever the quality of your marriage now, it can always be better.” That is what I wanted for my own marriage and that is what I pray for yours.
A sweet book trailer…
I’ve been a Christian for 12 years and a wife for 11 years. Through various other books, articles, and sermons I was vaguely familiar with the 5 Love Languages but I had never read the book for myself. If you are in the same boat that I was in, please do not delay any longer in reading this book. Dr. Chapman and Jocelyn Green have created this version especially for military couples. Drawing from his many years as a marriage counselor and her experience as a military wife, the two share numerous stories and teachable moments collected from military couples they have encountered. While the 5 Love Languages are universal this edition addresses situations that are unique to military life such as deployments, reintegration, and PTSD. Listening to this audiobook may be the best 5 hours you’ve given to your marriage. As I listened to the audiobook I was astounded at the ease in which heated and hurtful conflicts were defused when the couples chose to discover and begin speaking their partners emotional love language. At first the ideas seemed like common sense; but if that were true then why are so many marriages surviving instead of thriving? The more examples that I heard the more excited I got about the book and sharing it with others. If you have a spouse is unwilling/unavailable to help you decipher his or her primary love language, Gary Chapman provides you with the tools to figure it out on your own. Furthermore, if you find it difficult to speak your spouse’s love language the author has also given numerous suggestions on how to get started. My favorite were the ideas offers in regards to meeting your mate’s emotional needs before, during, and after deployments. I’ll share a few at the end of this post because I think those suggestions alone make it worth buying the (audio)book. If you are considering this book as a last ditch effort to save you marriage, you will find encouragement in The 5 Love Languages. In chapter 12 Loving the Unlovely, Dr. Chapman shares the story of a woman who asked, “…is it possible to love someone whom you hate?” I pray that you will give Dr. Chapman’s 6 month experiment a try. Still, others may find hope and the answers they need in the chapter 14 Frequently Asked Questions which addresses the unresponsive spouse, infidelity, PTSD, and how to love when you feel unloved. The 5 Love Languages Military Edition has the potential to help you build the marriage you’ve always wanted. A healthy marriage in which both members feel loved, encouraged, understood, secure and satisfied. It earns 5/5 stars from this reviewer, I recommend you purchase this title:
- For your Valentine.
- For yourself – birthday, anniversary, or just because you love your spouse.
- For your deployed spouse (buy the audiobook and he/she can listen to it at the gym).
- As a gift for a recently engaged or newly married military couple – help them get off to a good start!
- For a military couple whose marriage is struggling.
- For a couple where one or both partners comes from a broken home.
- For a couple that has separated or is contemplating divorce.
- For your girlfriend who just can’t seem to say anything nice about her husband. Do it in love! Listen or read together and make a plan to love your men better.
- To churches with growing numbers of military families.
**I received this book free as a member of the Family Christian Blogger program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”